certain questions never answered. happiness and fufillment are concepts. i live in ideals, wrapped in mistakes.

i shouldnt have cried like that, seriously i dont wish to be upset. i wish i could take things lightly i wish i could accept my mistakes but i cant. i repeatedly have to blame myself and sink into some kind of delirium. and at some point i stopped doing that but my fingers point at elsewhere with no sense of direction or nobody else. i am simply lost.

i dont want to hear Sorrrry any more. it just doesnt work this way at all.
Sorry is not meant for apologising for mistakes. but a selfish word used to end all this shit.
yes. i've said i'm sorry, i cried, dont worry about me. and then i have to make someone sad.
and when i'm not sorry anymore. you'll become even much much much sorrier(as if there's such a word) than me.

i'm tired. exhausted. fainting now... soon.
can i use the word "stress" ?
why do u say i change to be a better person now... and how hard am i pressing myself to be one.
maybe i dont even wanna be a better person.

lastly. all these craps i just wrote above. are jus craps.
deep in my heart now, i'm truly sorry.
dont tell me ur sorry too. is never about you in the first place.
dont love me too much, i dont wish to walk all over you in our relationship.